Tolerance Is Different With Acceptance / #LGBTRespect

Thanks to Charice’s coming out, am again writing something about the LGBT community. But this post would not talk about such issue, to bash or to support, but rather, I would like to point out a thing…

Tolerance is different with acceptance.

Although the Philippines, and the world as a whole, has started to seem to have finally, slowly accepted gays (and lesbians, bisexuals, etc) it saddens me to realize (and feel, yes it hurts) that many are actually simply tolerating.

Acceptance is a genuine embrace. It is unconditional and is born of, and borne of love. It does not question, it asks and clarifies, but it does not question. A person accepted, is a person loved – for all he/she is. It is an act of communion with all his facets; his good foot and all his flaws. Acceptance inspires growth and development, but it never encourages imposition of which or what you may deem is proper. As you know not all proper is right, nor all right is proper. Acceptance builds relationships, deeper and firmer. It does not cause pain nor inflict unuttered pain. As I would say it again, acceptance is a full embrace – like that of a mother to her child.  

Acceptance is one thing that not everybody is able to give, especially to guys like us of the third sex; or to those of different color, religion or to persons of different belief as opposed to the majority. It is one thing that we pray for – and parade for.

What is given, most of the time is simply tolerance, but not really acceptance. Tolerance my friend, is when you say it is okay to be gay but wrong to cross dress. That, lesbians are far more dirty, filthy and unacceptable than your gay guy friends. It is when one accepts – conditionally. To tolerate, is to think and believe that one is doing wrong and that he would soon be choosing to be good. It is loving a person’s other side and secretly loathing the other. It is saying Charice did a stupid choice cutting her hair short and looking like a male. (dude, so what? It is her preference.) Tolerance is thinking like, Aiza is better off than Charice because (put the reason here). It is a kind of love that does not see beyond ones personal biases, thus to speak, it is a tainted kind of love. Tolerance is but a faked smile given to a person you do not genuinely intend to smile at. It is like a foster mom's embrace to a newly orphaned kid, the intentions and the love might be there, but nothing compares to the real thing.

If it would be too much to ask; but unless it is acceptance you are ready to give to those different from you, better not. A forced hug would always feel less warm, if not cold.

Like I have always said, never undermine a gay guy’s persona, for just like you, he/she has gone so much, maybe even so much more than you, just to be able to come at peace with himself and the fact that he is different. Different, but never less, thus is worth of acceptance, and not mere tolerance.

oxXxo

Share this post guys, or let me know your thoughts. 

xOx

I am GAY, and that is not wrong.

Yesterday I have heard the greatest insult I have had in my entire existence - all because I am gay.  And to make things worse, it was from a woman whose professed faith seem to have the monopoly of truth and right. (nothing against those who come from her dominion, it was just the impression made yesterday)

I was asked this, Brent, alam mo nman diba ang tama sa mali? (Brent, you do know the difference between right and wrong)

It was asked after a friend and I talked about my current ‘dating’ status. As you know, I am dating a gay guy, a university teacher, a performer, a Catholic – basically a decent member of the society. Both of us don’t cross dress, both of us have decent lives to live, both of us are educated in catholic institutions. Both of us are choosing to be honest – and true.

The question alone was not offensive, but what followed after was way below the belt. Considering she did simply bat in, in our conversation. In a nutshell, she was telling me that I was born a man, thus I have a ROLE to ASSUME. She further continued that a relationship between two men is a sin, and that we should be punished – by death. That was quoted from Leviticus.

 

As a writer, I do know subtext. And with what she said, she nullified my very existence. That as if, all of me, all because I am gay, is wrong. That my very ‘being’ is as if a dirt bag. Mali ang buhay ko (My entire life is a mistake), to put things in perspective.

Ouch. F*ck Yeah!

It was uncalled for, and it was insulting.

But I shut up, all because I know better about RESPECT.

But it disturbed me so much I decided to share my piece here.

I am GAY, and that is not wrong.

Let’s put it this way. Following her line of thought that man is made in the image and likeness of GOD, it is therefore innate in man the ability to LOVE and to be (and do) good. In such premise, is it wrong then to HURT after falling for a man and realize that he is not in love with you? In the context of love, if I love someone (and granted I do not do anything all because it is ‘wrong’) but my heart feels pain because it is suppressed, it is hurt; WHY THEN DOES IT FEEL AFFECTION, for the first place?

God has made every being in his image and likeness, thus, by nature we tend to choose what is RIGHT and GOOD. The society, granted the biases that culture and practiced religion have imposed upon it, has a notion of what is right. BUT GOD KNOWS BETTER. HE gave us a heart – for which we can listen to, when in doubt.

I have served, during my Ateneo years as a head for my organization’s personal spirituality formation. And I did pick up something from there. That our relationship with GOD is within, that it is a personal relationship. Though there exists structured religion, it is not the foundation of truth, nor is the bible (which was written and construed by man). TRUTH is within us. It equates peace and contentment, and it is found after journeying within. I felt so insulted when she said those things because she did not even recognize my formation, my personal discernment, my personal relationship with GOD. She talked liked it was way apparent that I was wrong – and she was right.

Lastly, I would like to stress that no one person in this world has the right to know what is right for you. Guided by whoever you conceive your creator to be, HE(she) would never let you go on a wrong path. There is so much the world tells us, but for those who know better, society is never a perfect structure – and so is religion. So there are no definite ROLES that one being should assume to. Being a man, a woman, or gay (bi, transgender or what have you) is something that we are called to be. And no one has the right to tell another who he should be.

Society is flawed; take for example those that dictate that women ought to be owned by men. Religion is flawed, talk about those faiths that promise the monopoly of salvation. These can be used as guides though – but there is one thing that our creator has had given us. It is something that, no matter your race, your religious affiliation, your educational attainment or spiritual formation, remains untainted by evil. GOD gave us our hearts, the foundation of our freewill and rights, it feels pain when wronged and delighted when listened to, thus it is through which we may know RIGHT and the TRUTH.

My heart tells me that I am wonderful, that I am beautiful – and yes, that I am a sinner, that I am flawed and imperfect. But it tells me that GOD loves me – and it is okay to be gay.       

…

I just hope though that others could afford every gay guy the respect he deserves; that since not one in this world is perfect enough, may we find peace in our own hearts that there is a greater reason behind why we are the person that we are.

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