I was asked
this, Brent, alam mo nman diba ang tama
sa mali? (Brent, you do know the difference between right and wrong)
It was asked
after a friend and I talked about my current ‘dating’ status. As you know, I am
dating a gay guy, a university teacher, a performer, a Catholic – basically a
decent member of the society. Both of us don’t cross dress, both of us have decent
lives to live, both of us are educated in catholic institutions. Both of us are
choosing to be honest – and true.
The question
alone was not offensive, but what followed after was way below the belt.
Considering she did simply bat in, in our conversation. In a nutshell, she was
telling me that I was born a man, thus I have a ROLE to ASSUME. She further
continued that a relationship between two men is a sin, and that we should be
punished – by death. That was quoted from Leviticus.
As a writer,
I do know subtext. And with what she said, she nullified my very existence. That
as if, all of me, all because I am gay, is wrong. That my very ‘being’ is as if
a dirt bag. Mali ang buhay ko (My
entire life is a mistake), to put things in perspective.
Ouch. F*ck
Yeah!
It was
uncalled for, and it was insulting.
But I shut
up, all because I know better about RESPECT.
But it
disturbed me so much I decided to share my piece here.
I am GAY,
and that is not wrong.
Let’s put it
this way. Following her line of thought that man is made in the image and
likeness of GOD, it is therefore innate in man the ability to LOVE and to be
(and do) good. In such premise, is it wrong then to HURT after falling for a
man and realize that he is not in love with you? In the context of love, if I love
someone (and granted I do not do anything all because it is ‘wrong’) but my
heart feels pain because it is suppressed, it is hurt; WHY THEN DOES IT FEEL
AFFECTION, for the first place?
I have served,
during my Ateneo years as a head for my organization’s personal spirituality formation.
And I did pick up something from there. That our relationship with GOD is
within, that it is a personal relationship. Though there exists structured
religion, it is not the foundation of truth, nor is the bible (which was
written and construed by man). TRUTH is within us. It equates peace and
contentment, and it is found after journeying within. I felt so insulted when
she said those things because she did not even recognize my formation, my
personal discernment, my personal relationship with GOD. She talked liked it
was way apparent that I was wrong – and she was right.
Lastly, I would
like to stress that no one person in this world has the right to know what is
right for you. Guided by whoever you conceive your creator to be, HE(she) would
never let you go on a wrong path. There is so much the world tells us, but for
those who know better, society is never a perfect structure – and so is
religion. So there are no definite ROLES that one being should assume to. Being a
man, a woman, or gay (bi, transgender or what have you) is something that we
are called to be. And no one has the right to tell another who he should be.
Society is flawed; take for example those that dictate that women ought to be owned by men. Religion is flawed, talk about those faiths that promise the monopoly of salvation. These can be used as guides though – but there is one thing that our creator has had given us. It is something that, no matter your race, your religious affiliation, your educational attainment or spiritual formation, remains untainted by evil. GOD gave us our hearts, the foundation of our freewill and rights, it feels pain when wronged and delighted when listened to, thus it is through which we may know RIGHT and the TRUTH.
Society is flawed; take for example those that dictate that women ought to be owned by men. Religion is flawed, talk about those faiths that promise the monopoly of salvation. These can be used as guides though – but there is one thing that our creator has had given us. It is something that, no matter your race, your religious affiliation, your educational attainment or spiritual formation, remains untainted by evil. GOD gave us our hearts, the foundation of our freewill and rights, it feels pain when wronged and delighted when listened to, thus it is through which we may know RIGHT and the TRUTH.
My heart
tells me that I am wonderful, that I am beautiful – and yes, that I am a
sinner, that I am flawed and imperfect. But it tells me that GOD loves me – and
it is okay to be gay.
…
I just hope
though that others could afford every gay guy the respect he deserves; that
since not one in this world is perfect enough, may we find peace in our own
hearts that there is a greater reason behind why we are the person that we are.
***
Let’s me know your thoughts guys! Comment away!
Let’s me know your thoughts guys! Comment away!
And spread
the joy of life!
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