Thanks to Charice’s coming out, am again writing something about the LGBT community. But this post would not talk about such issue, to bash or to support, but rather, I would like to point out a thing…
Tolerance is different with acceptance.
Although the Philippines, and the world as a whole, has started to seem to have finally, slowly accepted gays (and lesbians, bisexuals, etc) it saddens me to realize (and feel, yes it hurts) that many are actually simply tolerating.
Acceptance is a genuine embrace. It is unconditional and is born of, and borne of love. It does not question, it asks and clarifies, but it does not question. A person accepted, is a person loved – for all he/she is. It is an act of communion with all his facets; his good foot and all his flaws. Acceptance inspires growth and development, but it never encourages imposition of which or what you may deem is proper. As you know not all proper is right, nor all right is proper. Acceptance builds relationships, deeper and firmer. It does not cause pain nor inflict unuttered pain. As I would say it again, acceptance is a full embrace – like that of a mother to her child.
Acceptance is one thing that not everybody is able to give, especially to guys like us of the third sex; or to those of different color, religion or to persons of different belief as opposed to the majority. It is one thing that we pray for – and parade for.
What is given, most of the time is simply tolerance, but not really acceptance. Tolerance my friend, is when you say it is okay to be gay but wrong to cross dress. That, lesbians are far more dirty, filthy and unacceptable than your gay guy friends. It is when one accepts – conditionally. To tolerate, is to think and believe that one is doing wrong and that he would soon be choosing to be good. It is loving a person’s other side and secretly loathing the other. It is saying Charice did a stupid choice cutting her hair short and looking like a male. (dude, so what? It is her preference.) Tolerance is thinking like, Aiza is better off than Charice because (put the reason here). It is a kind of love that does not see beyond ones personal biases, thus to speak, it is a tainted kind of love. Tolerance is but a faked smile given to a person you do not genuinely intend to smile at. It is like a foster mom's embrace to a newly orphaned kid, the intentions and the love might be there, but nothing compares to the real thing.
If it would be too much to ask; but unless it is acceptance you are ready to give to those different from you, better not. A forced hug would always feel less warm, if not cold.
Like I have always said, never undermine a gay guy’s persona, for just like you, he/she has gone so much, maybe even so much more than you, just to be able to come at peace with himself and the fact that he is different. Different, but never less, thus is worth of acceptance, and not mere tolerance.
Share this post guys, or let me know your thoughts.